Thursday 30 December 2010

Playboy Girls.

Merry Christmass and Happy New Year!

Monday 27 December 2010

Thursday 23 December 2010

Have u been naughty?

Hamburg is home to Germany's most legendary nightlife mile and red light district, the Reeperbahn. So it is only fitting that the city puts up a Christmas market that caters to adults - the erotic Christmas market "Santa Pauli", where you can see mommy kissing Santa Claus, and much much more...
The Christmas market is especially famous for its adult only area called "über 18" ("Over 18") - a heated tent where strip performances take place.
The name of this guys is Knecht Ruprecht and as opposite to Santa he LOVES bad girls!
Besides the traditional Christmas market stuff - mulled wine, ginger bread, and arts and crafts - Hamburg's sexy Christmas market offers lingerie, aphrodisiaca, and sex toys, and those girls would love to help u to choose one... or a few... or a lot!
Even drinks here are special: - Der Schenkelspreizer (LegPleasure)
- Das Eiertrallala (BallsTraLaLa)
- Der Gluhfick (LuckyFuck)
- Der Elchtest (DupeTest)
- Popsy - sperm-shaped liquer
This silly place looks fun! And it's not just a one day this place is open, so u can always find some time to visit it)

Thursday 16 December 2010

Manslator

Monday 13 December 2010

My life

Saturday 11 December 2010

Wednesday 8 December 2010

Dear diary...

...Today, my boyfriend confessed his desire to have sex while I’m on my period. He calls it "bloody victory."

...Today, I asked my boyfriend if there’s a reason why he has never gone down on me. He responded, "Your back door is too close to your front door and it creeps me out."

...Today, I decided to buy a sex toy. The man in the store automatically recognized my last name off my credit card and told me how my mother is his biggest customer. He even went on to tell me of "other" things my mother loves.

...Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking.

...Today, my girlfriend got a great idea for her history class project… while we were having sex.

...Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me by finding orange panties in my closet. His excuse was "they’re a Christmas gift." Thanks honey, I get panties that won’t fit, and have little brown streaks.

...Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker.

...Today, while my boyfriend was going down on me, he fell asleep right between my legs. The worst part was I only noticed when he started snoring.

...Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition.

...Today, I was at a urinal, relieving myself. My boss came in and went to the urinal beside me. Seconds later, he looked over and said "Hey! We’re dick twins!"

...Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!"

...Today, while our newborn baby slept, my boyfriend wanted to be intimate. Since I haven’t healed yet we can’t have sex, so I gave him a hand job. As he was returning the favor he fell asleep with his hand in my pants.

...Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn’t so painful. I haven’t been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go f*ck myself.

...Today, my boyfriend asked how I could go to the bathroom and leave my tampon in at the same time. He didn’t realize there are two separate holes. He’s 28.

...Today, in my journalism class, after trying hard to find some actual news to comment, we ended up talking about gay porn and fashion designers.

...Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom."

(youcantfuck.com)

Friday 26 November 2010

The winner of the year - 3

- Interested in a sex date?
- I pay good money.
- 400!

Adult toys.

The interesting sample of interactive action cards - interactive sex in this case (XIX century, btw). The set cwas supplemented with an usual samurai of typical proportions:


Print it and enjoy it))

Monday 22 November 2010

Don't be so suspussyous

Pussy as a slang term for the female pudenda is thought to derive ultimately from Low German puse "vulva" or Old Norse puss "pocket, pouch". It didn't arise in English with a sexual meaning until the 19th century, but prior to that it had been used to refer to women in general (16th century).
Already in 1890-s The Barrison Sisters were a risqué Vaudeville act who performed in the United States and Europe advertised as The Wickedest Girls In the World. In their most famous act, the sisters would dance, raising their skirts slightly above their knees, and ask the audience, "Would you like to see my pussy?" When they had coaxed the audience into an enthusiastic response, they would raise up their skirts, revealing that each sister was wearing underwear of their own manufacture that had a live kitten secured over the crotch.



There's one pet I like to pet, and every evening we get set.
I stroke it every chance I get, it's my girl's pussy.
Seldom plays and never purrs, and I love the thoughts it stirs.
But I don't mind because it's hers, it's my girl's pussy.
Often it goes out at night, returns at break of dawn.
No matter what the weather's like, it's always nice and warm.
It's never dirty, always clean. In giving thrills, never mean.
But it's the best I've ever seen, it's my girl's pussy.
There's one pet I like to pet, and every evening we get wet.
I stroke it every chance I get, it's my girl's pussy.
Seldom plays, never purrs, and I love thoughts it stirs.
But I don't mind because it's hers, it's my girl's pussy.
So often it goes out at night, and returns at break of dawn, break of dawn.
No matter what the weather's like, it's always dry and warm.
I bring tidbits that it loves, we spoon like two turtledoves.
I take care to remove my gloves, when stroking my girl's pussy.

(My Girl's Pussy, the Popular Great Depression Era song. In one of the most popular Soviet Union book the title of this song had been translated as "My little girl has got one little thing...".)

TECHNOSEXUALITY

Strictly speaking, the term Technosexuality is a word used to get away from the oft-confusing acronym, A.S.F.R., which refers to the sexual interest in machines, robots, androids, gynoids and other sexual devices not really occurring in real life. And sometimes, ones that actually exist.

How old is the myth of Pygmalion anyway?.. Boiled down to its very essence, the myth tells the story of a person that created the ideal lover.

Of course we're still seeing the Frankenstein Complex. (Blade Runner, Westworld, The Stepford Wives, The Borg in Star Trek) but now there's the added tone of eroticism. We all know sex sells. But in the aforementioned movies, the robot is no longer just an artificial creation meant to carry out the labours of a man. The robot is now a receptacle for the affections of an increasingly alienated mankind. In Westworld and The Stepford Wives, we see mechanical targets for a misogynist backlash against women by an ever more emasculated male population in the wake of the sexual revolution...


Monday 15 November 2010

Suddenly.

"Subject: $5.80???
HELLO,Are you kidding us??? NEVER.You have 21 ratings and just 3 notes. Forgetaboutit. "

Just to explain the situation, i have never seen that guy in my room. And probably he had never seen me and had never been in my chat, cuz usually i keep much lower price.
Actually, i kept the highest price to stay in the free chat, cuz i still hope to make those freaking 120 hours.
But still: is my price anyhow the problem of the guy who never comes in my chatroom? Does he has nothing to do but just sneaking and surfing profiles of girls?
Nah, get a life, man.

Thursday 11 November 2010

What girls want.

I forgot to tell about the most awesome porn i have ever seen. They show it on the so-called women-friendly chanell what was pretty obvious, i can say.
The big ( even huge) awesome muscular black guy fucked missionary one middle-age, average housewife, persistent repeating: "You are SO beautyful! I LOVE you!"

Monday 8 November 2010

Boobs, dummies, milk and animals.













Just last weekend me and my gf had talked about things which are impossible to hide. One of those things is ur sexual clicks, preferences, turn-ons, fixations. U write a story - and the whole story actually would be just a stage to show the one main scene, ur turn-on. U make a movie - and sooner or later ur biggest desire, ur addiction would be shown (remember tranntino's bare feet or "drag me to hell", the oral fixation of the director of this so-called-movie was hard to not see). So it i here. I see lactation and something strange, like sex with statue. Probably, that's what Pygmalion felt. Maybe that's the idea of doll, with which u can do whenever u want, maybe that's the wish of no response, maybe the dream about coldness. As well i could say that this artist likes to be humiliated, but i am not sure about that. I would try that if he was my guest.
Still, i like those pics.

Thursday 4 November 2010

4 stages of love : 1) Hand in hand 2) That in hand 3) Hand in that 4) That in that.

Tuesday 26 October 2010

Sunday 24 October 2010

The art of genital origami.

Spanning, suspens en verbazing in combinatie met veel humor. Dit zijn de ingrediënten van een avondje ‘Puppetry of the penis’. Op luid verzoek komen lichaamskunstenaars Simon Morley en David Friend dit najaar terug naar Vlaanderen.

‘Puppetry of the penis’ hoort absoluut thuis in het rijtje kunst, maar dan voorzien van een stevige scheut humor. Misschien is het ook aan u besteed, maar het is nog maar de vraag of u, van het mannelijke geslacht, erin zou slagen om met uw dierbare vriend dergelijke kunstjes uit te voeren. De Canadese acteur Simon Morley bedacht al in 1996 ‘Puppetry of the penis’, een theatervoorstelling waarbij hij als lichaamskunstenaars voor het publiek demonstreerde wat je allemaal kan met een penis. In de allereerste voorstelling zaten 12 favoriete penistrucs. Na een ontmoeting met David Friend werden de krachten gebundeld en werd de show van ‘Puppetry of the penis’ helemaal uitgewerkt. Ondertussen krijgt u als bezoeker een voorstelling voorgeschoteld waarbij u twee heren op het podium, met hun penis, meer dan 40 hoogstaande penistrucs ziet doen. Wie denkt het ook te kunnen kan misschien eens surfen naar hun officiële website, daar staat bijvoorbeeld ‘The big banana’ aan de hand van een tekening uitgelegd. Legendarisch en wereldberoemd zijn ‘De pelikaan’, ‘De windsurfer’ en voor ‘De hamburger’ die Simon en David opvoeren in hun show. U zult schrikken tot welke prestaties het mannelijke lid in staat is wanneer u gaat kijken naar ‘Puppetry of the penis’. Rekken, strekken, plooien, draaien, het gaat schijnbaar moeiteloos wanneer u de twee heren op de bühne aan het werk ziet.



http://www.puppetryofthepenis.com/

Tuesday 19 October 2010

Plaster Caster

Welcome to the wonderful world of plaster!
Hi, I'm Cynthia and I'm a recovering groupie.
I make plaster casts of penises and breasts that are attached to rock stars and other talented earthlings.
And it's time to give y'all a polite warning about a Plaster Invasion soon to hit Planet Earth!
You see, over the last 30 years I've had the pleasure of capturing some Very Special Appendages for my collection. They are my sweet babies and I am their Mama! For some time now we've been on the lookout for a warm, moist planet to spread our seed and, by jove, I think we've got it.
So proud a Mama am I that when we come in for a landing, I'm taking these babies out on the town in a baby basket! Our Pud Crawl will include various movie theatres, bookstores and art galleries. Yep, we're talking about: art exhibits, a documentary and an autobiography - for starters!
So, townspeople! The skies are ablaze with Plasterness! Ooooh! Aaaah!
But don't be afraid. No need to run to the bomb shelter! Just BEHOLD...and RECEIVE...the magnificence of the White Cock - and White Tit!

Friday 15 October 2010

И снова Марлезонский балет.

Часть первая:
Требуется консультант для организации студии в Бангкоке.
Услуги оплачиваются
При необходимости оплачивается перелет в БКК и проживание

Часть вторая:
задала Тому пару вопросов, вот че ответил:
1.у меня нет никакого отношения к кам бизнесу я знаком с некоторыми моделями - и не раз слышал о том что было бы здоров - хотя бы на зиму уезжать из России. Для таких отпускниц и можно сделать студию.
2. наказание за кам бизенс в тае 3 года тюрьмы максимум или штраф или депортация. САЖАЛИ в тюрьму - тех кто брал на работу местных. Местные стучат. Ну и здесь так же как и в России- взятки решают вопросы
3. Отношений с тайскими властями нет - так как с тацами я дел не имею
4. Идея пришла в голову полсе тусовок с русскими проституками в бангкоке. Они ничего не слышали о кам биезнесе и согласны попробовать.
5 личного пристутсвия не нужно.
6. Для себя я хотел бы знать - примерно сколько можно заработать. и каков заработок модели.
7. требования к копьютерам и интернету.

Часть третья:
Почитал я ваш форум- и сделал вывод - левый бизнес. Даже не бизнес - а стремное занятие для выживания в замкнутом пространстве России
Дрочите на здоровье в холодной России :-)) за копейки. Надрочите на хорошую гостиницу - могу порекомендовать где остановится и где хорошо провести время. Рекомендую посетить www.bedsupperclub.com Ну а для любителей подешевле - помойка Паттая, там дешево и много русских - вам будет комфортно.
До свидания друзья!Спасибо за консультации!!PS для ознакомления с тайской жизнью и обнаружения антисанитарии посмотрите некоторые видео и фото
Посмотрите как нужно жить))) а то все дрочеров обсуждаете)) да лохов типа меня))
Мы не лохи - лохи не мы :-)

Достать чернил и плакать... T___T

Часть четвертая, заключительная - фотография дельца:


Только у меня жгучее желание его накормить, помыть и вылечить от алкоголизма?

=========================================


Апд: а это у меня в клювике приквел Марлезонского балета, если можно так сказать, или же Марлезонский балет со стороны галерки: http://justforus.diary.ru/p130328180.htm

Особенно понравились рассчеты про 147 долларов в личную кассу за 10 минут, читала, ржала и хлопала себя по ляжкам.

Вот почему они хотят и рыбку съесть, и косточкой не подавиться? Невозможно зарабатывать деньги в интернете и нигде при этом не засветиться.

=================================================

А вот еще интересная ссылка: http://tema.livejournal.com/758787.html?thread=403247363#t403247363

И там как раз сразу такой ажиотаж: ой, а какие требования к актерам? ой, а я вот всегда хотел попробовать.

Wednesday 13 October 2010

Незамутненность.

Приветствую, господа! Заранее прошу вас сильно не стебаться и на ... в поиск не посылать, я только что оттуда)
Есть один знакомый "денежный мешок", которому кто-то напел про супердоходность этого бизнеса, он хочет организовать полный аналог ruscams.ком (движок, биллинг, партнерка, своя студия и т.п.)
Выручите plz парой советов, ибо я с "темной стороной силы" вообще не знаком... Ниже несколько тезисов, которые удалось выудить из поиска:
1. Дело это не совсем легальное, нужны оффшор и "крыша"
2. Реальный заработок только на буржуях, наши дрочеры практически не платежеспособны
3. Конкуренция достаточно жесткая. Рентабельность решают кадры (модели)
Все верно?

И пару вопросов:
1. Сколько примерно обойдется реализация технической стороны (т.е. сам сайт)?
2. Как раскручивают такие сайты? (я так понимаю, основной способ - покупка буржуйского траффа?)

Хотя этот денег предлагает за консультацию в аське. Хотя бы. Уже прогресс.

Thursday 7 October 2010

"Сифон отсутствует-запах однако."(c)

"Открытая подводка к смесителю в ванной.Ужас."

"Гибкая подводка на изломе к бачку. Кран нужно развернуть на 180 градусов. "

Необычный взгляд на домашнюю эротику тут: http://www.santechniki.com/topic4354.html

Monday 4 October 2010

Vibrator Chess Set

A new sex toy designed by New York-based product consultancy Aruliden is the perfect gift for the horny, fabulously rich chess fanatic in your life.It’s a chess set with pieces that double as vibrators, 32 in all, from round-tipped pawns to knights shaped like anal beads.
Produced for the chichi erotic shop Kiki de Montparnasse, the sets are being trotted out in late November, early December. The cost: $7,000.