The Naked Orphan Annie Joke

1) Type up the words "ha ha ha" in 90 point bold text in a word processor on your computer, and print out onto standard 8-1/2" x 11" paper.
2) Buy a large cigar in a metal tube. Discard (or smoke) cigar. Save the tube!
3) roll up the "ha ha ha" paper as required to fit it into the cigar tube. Replace cap tightly on tube.
4) Place cz diamonds into a black cloth satchel. Add a few large steel items into the satchel (steel bolts, or washers). Sew satchel closed with black thread.
5) Sew cloth satchel into interior of a clean pair of underwear.
6) Purchase two fresh oranges. Place them into a brown paper sack.
7) Purchase an airline ticket to any location in the US, which departs within a day.
8) Just prior to your flight. lubricate cigar tube and slide into rectum (as far as possible without causing permanent injury). Also wear the underwear with the diamond satchel. Be sure to bring along the paper sack with the two oranges.
9) As you attempt to pass through security, the metallic objects in the satchel will continually set off the detector. You will be escorted into a room, and forced to undress.
10) The inspector will find the satchel of diamonds and quickly make a phone call. You will suddenly be surrounded by a large number of security. A quick search of your body cavities will produce the cigar tube. (Try to contain your excitement, to avoid being restrained)
11) While the security team is reading you "ha ha ha" note, casually reach over to the table where your oranges have been dumped from your paper sack. hold the oranges up to your eyes and say "Look at me, I am 'little orphan annie'"
12) Laugh, knowing that you have successfully pulled of the rare and elusive "naked orphan annie" joke. Imagine the number of times you will be able to retell this story!